RANDY'S "TOP TEN REASONS I'M CONSIDERING SKIPPING MY 20th HIGH SCHOOL CLASS REUNION NEXT YEAR:

10. Everybody else got an invitation; I got a letter saying it's been cancelled

9. The lobotomy makes me fall down a lot

8. I look ten years older than everybody else

7. If they wouldn't let me come naked ten years ago, they probably won't this time, either

6. Concerned that my body guards and entourage will cause a scene

5. The last time I tried to escape from the asylum, I got beaten senseless

4. Afraid they'll find out my "40-room mansion" is really a boarding house

3. Still miffed about losing Student Council by one vote sophomore year

2. I just started my nineteenth job in 20 years; they won't let me take time off

1. Dolson

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