RANDY'S "TOP TEN REASONS I HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING ON BLOGGER"

10. MySpace

9. YouTube

8. Facebook

7. My pet chimp hogs the computer

6. I ran away from home

5. Got confused and kept playing "Frogger" instead

4. Like a bird, I keep attacking my own reflection in the monitor

3. Spent three months memorizing pi to 400,000 decimal places for world record attempt; when Guinness showed up, could only remember "3.14"

2. When you jump off a water tower, the parachute doesn't have time to open

1. Forgot my password