7. My pet chimp hogs the computer
6. I ran away from home
5. Got confused and kept playing "Frogger" instead
4. Like a bird, I keep attacking my own reflection in the monitor
3. Spent three months memorizing pi to 400,000 decimal places for world record attempt; when Guinness showed up, could only remember "3.14"
2. When you jump off a water tower, the parachute doesn't have time to open
1. Forgot my password